You should not directly tell her how to masturbate, but tell her what it is and what most people do. I haven't taught my 9 year old all this stuff, but I've talked to my.
I used to love my daughter and son and I cannot believe what has happened. Their mom throwing a tantrum and "hating them" is not helping anything. As parents, it is our job to explain to our children that masturbation is.
When my oldest daughter was about 13 years of age, I started to She told me that it helped her not want to just go “do it”, like she put it.